March 31st, 2009

Religous Fantacism

The danger of religous fantacism is that being too much fused with one's religion, he or she could depicit acts of idolatry instead of true worship and reverence which most commonly happens n religous sectors where instead of true worshipping their Gods, they depicit a manic adoration towards their religous leaders, thus imitating and loving them more than they should. Also, in these instances, they forget that thier religous leaders are only God's tool of ministering to them.

Posted by miyuchix at 01:17 AM | Add a Comment

March 5th, 2009

She reminded me of how I loved you


Posted in nostagic on Mar 05, 2009 at 1:15 PM
Current Mood: lonely


         Browsing again someone else's profile, Tsk..this has been such a bad habit of mine. Instead of studying, it's what I've been doing. Someone should really remind me to stop turning my pc on. Oh well, I don't know what exactly I had in my mind when I took a view at his profile. I know I'm completely over him. That's for sure. But I just wanted to see a message from him, or an update perhaps. It's been 4 1/2 years since I fell for that person, and I've decided to shun those feeling 2 years ago. The reason? Well, because it was hopeless, we both were amateurs at displaying our feelings, and I thought or it might really have been a one way relationship, an unrequited love in short. But I'm not sure. I've never gone as far as asking someone what he exactly feels for me. I'm such a coward I know, but that's me okay. So, again, I browsed his profile. Pictures are nothing, I am completely immune to the feeling. Then I read his profile, then his testimonials and bingo, I was finally to get a clear glimpse of a relationship that started almost 2 years ago, It was beautiful, she described how much she love that guy and said how much she was lucky for having him, describing how they started, when and what it is now. I could definitely say somewhere in her post that I could exactly relate to her. I don't know how but for some reason, when I used to love him, I had the exact same reasons. I was sure I was happy since he was exceptionally remarkable. His personality was something I couldn't understand at first, he was shallow and was a simpleton at heart and mind but It was what I marveled about him. Along reading her post, in the part where she retold how their relationship started, I realized that I couldn't help but think that he might have really tried to pursue me, but I was just such an idiot not to understand him. I didn't even realized that the actions he had done could have meant something like love. I didn't get it. Though that entire (almost 3years time), I've been trying hard to figure out his feelings for me and I guess he was trying there too..I had so many that I treasured for him, and now I couldn't. I'm such an idiot yeah right. But I'm really happy for them. She's the one that made him happy,the one thing I couldn't and I'm happy he is now. It's a thing of the past, it's quite nostalgic, and now, it's all a memory but she reminded me of how I loved you, one of the nicest feeling I had 4 years ago, a feeling I'd regret but I would never try to forget.

Currently listening to: Beautiful alone
Currently reading: DOH
Currently watching: none
Currently feeling: nostalgic
Posted by miyuchix at 10:26 AM | Add a Comment

December 29th, 2008

realizations...

it's been so long?

really?

hmmm...

I could hardly believe it myself..

recalling to what I was and how I was the previous year.

I couldn't fathom i made it here...

Life is so harsh that it leads one to sin and never go back

yet for some, we are also lucky to rise from the mesh of our sins...

I'm happy not living the exciting life I used to live..

all the excitment made me mad and for a while

 I swear I did loose myself in that spin...

I've learned that this is life...

whatever you choose it to be,

it's completely yours..

the power to mold it, lies in your own hands..

the clay might not have been good

or low quality for instance,

the heat may not be enough

but it all lies in the bearing..

on how much, how long you hold on to it..

molding it, having hope..that though resources are scarce..

it's bound to be something great...

my life? I don't say It's extravagant, marvelous nor do i know it's bound to live such..

but I have hope..that it's life, I know would be worth living.

 

Posted by miyuchix at 01:42 AM | Add a Comment

June 27th, 2008

anu nga kea?

ang kalungkutan ko..

..hindi dahil sa wala akong pera..

hindi rin sirgo dahil wala mga magulang ko dito?

pero anu nga kaya talaga ang dahilan??

minsan..parang lahat kasi ng bagay me dahilan ako..

excuses..ani nga..

"indenial" marahil ako..pero bakit??

 ang hirap aminin na kahit hindi ako pala ngiti at hindi mahilig makihalubilo sa mga tao eh, nalulungkot din pla ako sa pag-iisa..

minsan, sigro dahil eto na lng pakiramdan na toh.. "pag-iisa" ang palagi kong kasama..eh,,hinahanap hanap ko na siya.parang parte na siya ng buhay ko..na kapag hindi ko naramdaman eh, nakakawala na siya sa sarili..

 

kalungkutan..

anu nga ba ang dahilan..

unit-unti kong hinahanap at nakikita ko ang kakulangan sa buhay ko..

kulang ng  dahilan para mabuhay,.

hindi masarap mabuhay ng ganito..

pakiramdam ko tumatanda lang ako..pero hindi ako nagbabago..

ganun pa din ako sa bata na ako dati..

takot sa pagbabag o..takot masaktan..kaya ano ako ngayon..??

isang taong walang patutunguhan..

walang natutuhan..

average..

walang silbi..at

mamatay ako na ganun..

nakakalungkot...

what I thought of myself was all an illusion..

a dream of who i wanted to be..

so sad..

people come and go..

they learn from their mistakes..and here I am..daring not to make one move..but what am I because of this..I'm a total failure..

anu ba ang purpose ng buhay ko??

sabi nila kulang daw ang tao sa pananalig kapag nagkakaganito..

pero, hindi ko mahanap ang dahilan..hindi ko mahanap ang

 paraan..

may saysay nga ba ang pananalig??

ang sama ko para magtanung ng ganito..

a sin it is.. cause I had doubt..

at sana mapatawad Niya ako..

 pero sana..

sana..

kahit minsan...maging masaya ako dahil sa makabuluhang buhay ..sa isang bukas kung saan.. me magagawa naman ako.. kasi walang saysay.. itong kalungkutan na to..itong mga luha na naiiyak ko..

ngayong wala naman dapat iyakan.,wala naman ata akong pag-ibig na dinaanan..di tulad ng iba na hinanakit ng puso ang dinadaing..

naniniwala akong hindi iyon ang dahilan...

hindi ako malungkot dahil sa kakulangan sa pag-ibig,

hindi pa ako nakapagmamahal ng lubusan  para maging ganoon.

pero pakiramdam ko hindi na kaya tumibok ng puso ko para sa isang araw pa...

:')

pero hindi dapat diba?

iniisip ko na tama ka..maling mali..

pinipigilan ko nga..

na mag -isip ng ganito..

sa ngayon ,,masaya na lang ako na maramdaman ang kalungkutan na to

...kaya salamat sa pakiramdam.

Posted by miyuchix at 01:41 PM | Add a Comment

April 26th, 2008

what a shit!

   Right now my thoughts are filled with fragmented words and emotions that seems as if it wants to protest yet it couldn’t get a hold of what exactly it wants to say. Fickle minded? Partly… but not quite…just distorted thoughts I guess...  a disarray of ideas that must have been because of a traumatized heart.. For whatever reason.. it leaves me extremely disfigured, incisively hurt  and awfully bitter…too bitter that I almost considered demise as the only means of forgetting.. too bitter that I almost saw my self smiling to the idea of butchering those entrails and feeding them back to it‘s rightful legal proprietor …too strong that it almost drove me to the threshold of my sanity down to the ingress of an asylum… the apt site where I deem no one could say what they think is right, no one to dictate what I should have done.. Nor what I should do… where no one leaves.. Not at least when it’s proven that they’re sane enough to go back to the reality.. But what is reality?? Is it what everyone dictates to be morally right? Is it what the majority chose? What people considered as a norm? A “living truth”? And now I’m going utterly out of the subject.. I do not know either.... conceivably, if it’s amid reality and fantasy.. I must have chosen fantasy somewhere in the line.. So as to why I got moderately this insane? I guess it’s just insane to dream about the blissful matters that often... It’s insane to ever succumb in the delusions of my “happily ever after”... And how could I’ve ever forgotten that such bed time stories were for children and it doesn’t work for everyone... Not everyone... I guess not me…

    Just yesterday, I couldn’t imagine how so much love could turn into so much hatred…I used to believe that when you loved someone, they’ll always remain “loved” though they may not really be “special” anymore.. But now I have a clear picture.. It does happen.. And it is possible. Love turned to hatred. Abhorrence that was from pain. Pain that was from denial. And denial from fear. Absolute opposites that developed from a sequence of sentiments which were left on their own in the whole course of action...

Posted by miyuchix at 10:13 AM | Add a Comment
« | »